Pickup In The Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an elderly African-American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 60s.. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..

It read:
"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

Pure Innuendoes

They were the best of friends. They were always seen together around the University of the Philippines (UP) campus in Diliman: one was undoubtedly a very good-looking guy and the other was unquestionably a plain-looking guy. Opposites really attract. Hey, but they're both brilliant students. Well, birds of the same feather also flock together. Indeed, they were very close to each other. Unusually close.

They were the perfect tandem. Like suman and ripe mango. Or nuts and bolts. Peg and a hole. They were both protegees of then UP Student Council chairman Chito Gascon. Soon, the good-looking guy took the helm as UP Student Council chairman. But the best friends seem to follow each other's path. The plain-looking guy also ran for the same position with the all-out support of his good-looking friend. He won, of course. The good-looking guy was the crush ng bayan of the iskolars ng bayan.

During lunchtime, students of all persuasions flocked to the College of Arts and Sciences (CAS) cafeteria to catch a glimpse of the good- looking guy. Even singer-actress Regine Velasquez later admitted on national television that she had a big crush on the good-looking guy. But loveless Regine's daring admission did not earn her even just a movie date invitation from the good-looking guy; instead, the good- looking guy merely flashed a demure smile in response to desperate Regine's thinly-veiled date invitation.

But after finishing college, the best friends went their separate ways. (Or so it seemed). The plain-looking guy pursued his law studies and later taught law courses. The good-looking guy delivered the evening news on TV, hosted a TV quiz show and wrote analytical articles on pop culture. His good looks, intelligence and impeccable manner endeared him to televiewers.

Despite their divergent career choices, the good-looking guy and the plain-looking guy really seemed to follow each other's path. But this time, their path led to a nice little apartment near the Ateneo de Manila campus. And they shared that nice little apartment. Just the two of them.

Yes, the plain-looking guy and the good-looking guy lived together. Those gifted with wild imagination got titillated at the mere thought of these two young men sharing a lovely apartment. The moralists out there shook their heads at the mere thought of the goings-on beyond that innocent-looking apartment door amid rows of middle-class houses in Loyola Heights in Quezon City.

But the pair would not budge from their nest. Nor would they yield to any pressure. Not even from the plain-looking guy's bible-reading siblings who berated him for living with another guy. The plain- looking guy's own family started to cast doubt about his masculinity. All telltale signs which have accumulated all those years could no longer be ignored. People started talking openly about the two guys. Speculations about the true nature of the pair's friendship became a daily fodder for gossip mongers. The academic freedom which alma mater UP's oblation symbolizes seemed to have gone beyond the duo's lust for knowledge.

In order to prove to his family that he was not what they thought he was, the plain-looking guy suddenly announced that he was getting married. His family jumped with joy. But the plain-looking guy's marriage did not dispel wild speculations about his sexuality; instead, it only succeeded in erasing any remaining doubt about his alleged agenda of using his wife to finally succeed in his failed initial crack at pursuing his lifelong dream.

And it was well worth his efforts. Because this former loser's desperate act finally triumphed. Thanks to his wife. However, the plain-looking guy's deep friendship with his good-looking friend took a backseat as a result of the former's new civil status. The plain-looking guy did not want to hurt his new wife's flourishing career nor spoil his newfound success. That's why he played his role as a good family man to the hilt. However, he had not forgotten his good-looking best friend at all. As a token of their undying friendship, the good-looking guy stood as one of the godfathers of the plain-looking guy's first baby, together with Edu Manzano, Cesar Montano, Cherie Gil, Ciara Sotto, Angeli Valenciano, Fanny Serrano and a host of other household names. Of course, the plain-looking guy's wife was clueless about her husband's past.

But the plain-looking guy's wife had her share of dark past. She is a single mother who parted ways with her good-looking "first husband" after she discovered that her good-looking "first husband" was already married to another woman when she hastily married him after she got pregnant at a young age. This meant that her marriage to her good-looking "first husband" was not legally binding after all. Now, the plain-looking guy was her knight-in-shining-armor who rescued her from the stigma of being an unmarried mother.

Ironically, while her non-binding marriage with her good-looking "first husband" was solemnized by several high-ranking priests at the cavernous Manila Cathedral amid countless clicking cameras and thousands of shrieking admirers several years ago, her supposedly legitimate marriage with the plain-looking guy was officiated not by a Catholic priest but by a pastor in a cramped living room, with only few relatives and friends as witnesses. Later, the good-looking guy reportedly got married also without fanfare. They said that his bride was a creative consultant for ABS-CBN Interactive. However, some women still believe and hope that he is still unmarried to this day.

The good-looking guy soon rose to become ABS-CBN News Channel's (ANC) Director for Current Affairs. He has been circling the globe as host of ANC's weekly travel show, Executive Class. Yes, the good-looking guy is David Celdran.

And the plain-looking guy is megastar Sharon Cuneta's husband, Senator Francis "Kiko" Pangilinan.

Cleaning Lady

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

Q & A

Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A.
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B.
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C.
He is a
decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.


















Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone. Wait till you see the end of this note! Keep reading...

Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember: Amateurs...built the ark. Professionals...built the Titanic

And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year...

Can you guess which organization this is?



Give up yet?


It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year.