The First Affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."

She looked down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

Addicted To Internet Porn

Signs your partner is addicted to internet porn.

• During foreplay, she's always double-clicking your G-Spot.
• Her new computer includes a DVD-ROM drive, a wireless modem, and a tissue dispenser.
• When she wants you to take off your pants, she says, "Scroll Down."
• Tells everyone she's a pioneer in "palm computing."
• She's suing Playboy.com for repetitive stress injuries.
• Her favorite actor? Tommy Lee.
• When he sees a hot babe, he wryly says, "Boy, I'd like to click on her."
• You look deep into her eyes and see a faint image of Asia Carrera burned into her corneas.
• As you undress, he takes out his credit card and tells you his birthday.
• During sex, she shouts, "Refresh! Refresh!"
• Her version of foreplay: You lie naked on the bed with a sheet covering you.. she pulls it down slowly for ten minutes.

Grandma In Court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you fucking idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

Sulit Sa Saya Raffle 3 - Holiday Raffle

In celebration of the Holiday Seasons, we are happy to present to all our members Sulit Sa Saya Raffle 3 - Holiday Raffle where you have a chance to win any of the following prizes:

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• Earning of points for raffle entries are from December 3, 2007 until January 4, 2008
• Raffle Draw will be on January 6, 2008
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